“Mom, it’s been, like, months since you screamed at me.”
Can we skip over the fact that this lack of screaming merited notice in our home and instead allow it to be a mark of my credibility to address the reality of conflict with your daughter. I can write about it because, heavenly days, I’ve lived it!
But I’ve also lived to talk about it. And maybe it’s worth a conversation here.
THE ONE THING TO REMEMBER ABOUT CONFLICT WITH YOUR DAUGHTER
If I were to break down the main reasons for conflict between Casiday and me, I’d land right here—control.
We both want it.
Whether it’s the ongoing reminders to keep her room clean or the periodic discussions about friends or curfew, even the questions about who she’s texting and what apps she’s using — control.
When our little girls insist on wearing a swimsuit every day in January, they want to be in charge.
But control isn’t always bad.
We need some measure of control in our homes. And we have a God-given responsibility to exert discipline and exhibit leadership as moms.
The thing is, sometimes we cross from using the control we necessarily need and we become controlling. And moms, let’s face it, that’s when the real issues start.
When it’s not enough for my girl to clean her room, she has to do it exactly the way I would.
When we can’t let our daughters choose their own clothes for church because we want everyone to see how cute she is that new Matilda Jane outfit we just bought.
You know how I know when I’ve crossed that line? Casiday’s head falls. She gets discouraged, frustrated, and sullen. And when I think about it, I know she was that way even when she was little. Moms, if we want to get this right, we need to understand that the more she looks down, the more we need to look up!
The only way to break the controlling habit is to allow God to get control of us! And if we want to manage the inevitable conflicts we’re going to have with our girls, we need to remember who is really in control. See, as much as we love our girls, we can never love them as well as their heavenly Father does. The one thing to remember about conflict with your daughter is this: We’ll never be in control of everything (anything, really) but we can trust the One who is!Moms, we'll never be in control of everything but we can trust the One who is! #PrayersForGirls Click To Tweet
A Prayer for Relinquishing Control
Lord, it’s no secret how much I like to be the boss. I fancy myself in control of so many things. But the truth is, I’m not And the more controlling I am, the farther away I push my girl. So help me let it go. Give me the wisdom to trust You. And when I’ve caused my girl to look down in defeat and discouragement, give me the insight and desire to look up to You! In Jesus’ name, Amen.