When Teri Lynne first put out a call for writers to join her Prayer for Girls community, I thought yes!! I love girls. I love prayer. I love writing. And I love Teri Lynne. What’s not to love?? Count me in.
We scheduled a phone call to sort out the details.
As we talked, TL began to describe the different themes and topics she’d like to cover every month. I swooned over the ideas of discipleship, service, mother/daughter projects and the like. Yes! I would love to be that mom. The one who does all that. She sounds super cool. Being that mom is definitely on my bucket list.
Then the very real thought swept over me — if I write about any of those topics you all might just out me as a big, fat fraud! Even though my husband and I have lived deep in vocational ministry for over 20 years (you’d think I’d have a few things dialed in by now), I have no idea how to write about any type of ‘formula’ for raising daughters because, gosh darn it, I feel like I’m still figuring out what the heck it means to be a daughter myself!
Then it hit me.
While these other fantastic women could string words and ideas about being mothers OF daughters (I’m super duper excited to learn from them), I could write about mothers AS daughters. At the end of the day, aren’t we all daughters ourselves? How do we learn to raise daughters unless we know how to BE them?
After the adoption of our younger two children, the Lord took me on a harrowing journey that stripped me of any idols of motherhood I had previously cradled and opened my eyes to a whole new way of thinking. A new way of being. I realized I had put the concept of ‘motherhood’ on a pedestal and this pedestal was unrealistic at best, and certainly unattainable. I needed to relearn so much of what I thought I already knew.
The Lord taught me that being a mother means to provide, to nurture, to teach and to raise. To be a daughter means to receive, to be taken care of, to learn and be led. He revealed a supernatural role reversal if you will. When I began approaching each day as a daughter of the King, rather than a mother with the lofty and misguided goal of controlling the world, I was better able to position myself in a posture of humble dependence and gratitude. The position of a daughter.
Motherhood, for me, is about daughterhood. Living into my identity as a daughter of the King changes everything!
I have two daughters that are growing faster than the weeds in my yard. Believe me when I tell you these two are as DIFFERENT as night and day. There is no ‘formula’ I can think of that would help me raise either one of them. Of course there are guiding principles, biblical wisdom, and holy discernment, but there is no precise formula. Where one is dainty, sweet, unsure and demur, the other is sassy, spicy, confident and impulsive. I pray every day for the grace of God to cover my natural deficits as I mother these two beautiful, talented, very human beings. I pray that as I live into my ever-growing understanding of being both mother and daughter, they might catch a glimpse and live into their own God-given, diverse destinies — in confidence and beauty, knowing, above all else, they are radically and unconditionally loved!
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And she wrote a book last year. You can find out more about A Beautiful Exchange here.